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    June 02

    hysterical

    最近的生活很乱,不知道怎么了,所有的事情都挤在这个时候发生,从我生日开始,本来是好开心的日子,却得知我爸要动手术,一个很大的打击,突然由喜悦变为伤心的滋味太难受了,我体会过两次。整个人从此以后变得喜怒无常,经常说些言不由衷的话,做些不是真心想做的事情,伤害到了自己最重要的人。天气不好,人也什么病都生出来了,其实我心里只是害怕,所有的压力都来的时候,我只想找个地方躲,或者找最能让我安心的人。可是,每次都变得hysterical,每次都把事情搞糟,只是觉得越来越孤独。不是我说过了做不到,不是我虚伪,我记得我说过的每个字,我每一天都想去努力做,只是现在,我的生活已经完全乱了,究竟能否陪我度过这一个难关?今天又做了一件很傻的事情,我不知道是怎么发生的,只是觉得脑子一片空白,我为什么要这么做?我真的想不起来了。只是提醒自己,就算再苦的时候,都不要忘记自己的责任,自己的诺言,能有机会去努力实现,那就是老天最大的恩赐。

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    Baguiowrote:
    怎么说呢,那天收到你消息,你说,不想用手机说,就没有问下去。感觉有事情,却不知道是什么事情,估计是和她有关的吧。。。前段时间还听你告诉我说,你现在在看些有关外贸的书,觉得好象找到方向了的。。最近怎么又会是这样的呢???
    June 4

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